đż Musk vs Trump: Friday Freakout Roundup (SpaceX, Epstein, and Deportation Dreams?!)
Welcome to another edition of âWhat the Actual Heck is Happening,â featuring our two favorite billionaires behaving badly: Elon Musk and Donald J. Trumpâwith a spicy guest appearance from Steve Bannon just to stir the pot.
Yes, itâs Friday, and yes, everything is on fire again. đ„
đ Musk Drops the Epstein Bomb
So Elon Muskâtech overlord, space cowboy, and part-time chaos agentâtook to his platform X and posted this:
âTime to drop the really big bomb: @realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public. Have a nice day, DJT!â
Let that sink in. đŁ
He just casually accused the former president of being on the unreleased Epstein files, implying Trump is part of the reason we havenât seen them. Of course, Elon offered zero receipts, but the internet (and cable news) blew up anyway.
Democrats in Congress have already called on the DOJ and FBI to verify if Trumpâs name is on those infamous lists. Weâll see if anything comes of itâbut for now, it's peak popcorn material.
đĄ Trump Fires Back, Bannon Loses His Mind
Trump didnât take that quietly (shocker). He went full scorched-earth, reportedly threatening to cancel federal contracts with Muskâs companies like SpaceX and Tesla.
Cue Steve Bannon entering stage far-right:
- Bannon demanded Trump seize SpaceX under the Defense Production Act.
- Then he called for Elon Musk to be deported as an âillegal alienâ (uhh, Musk has been a U.S. citizen since 2002, but whatever facts).
- Also? He claimed Musk was trying to access classified Pentagon secrets while high on drugs. đ§Ș
If thatâs not enough, Musk replied by calling Bannon a "retard" on social mediaâyes, in 2025, a supposed genius is still using ableist slurs like itâs 1995. đ
đž Financial Fallout
The tech markets were not amused:
- Tesla lost $150 billion in market value almost overnight.
- Trumpâs own Truth Social stock dropped 8%, and his meme-coin $TRUMP dipped by 12%.
- Everyone's yelling. No oneâs adulting.
Meanwhile, SpaceX just said it might start decommissioning its Dragon spacecraftâwhich plays a huge role in the U.S. space program. Great timing, yâall!
đ€Ż TL;DR â Whatâs Actually Going On?
Letâs be real: this isnât about Epstein or immigration or space. This is ego warfare between two unstable men with too much money and influence. Musk is spiraling from his own erratic behavior (and possibly some pharmaceutical side quests), while Trump canât tolerate anyone challenging his god complex.
This feels like the digital-age version of Godzilla vs. King Kong, but with fewer morals and more crypto losses.
đ What to Watch Next:
- Will the DOJ actually respond to the Epstein file allegations?
- Will SpaceX lose government contracts?
- Will Trumpâs campaign collapse under this chaos?
- Will someone take Elonâs phone away?
- And seriouslyâcan we get through one week without billionaires threatening each other on social media?
đŹ Final Thoughts
While the world burns, rent is still due, wages are still low, and social programs are still brokenâbut at least we get front-row seats to the richest people unraveling in real time. đ
Stay safe, stay informed, and donât forget to water your plants and check your voter registration. The futureâs weirdâbut itâs ours to shape.
â
Written by Tina Winterlik aka Zipolita
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