She Said What She Had to Say — To Survive

 🛑 CONTENT WARNING:

This post discusses sexual assault, trauma, and survival strategies used by victims during violent incidents. It may be triggering for survivors or those sensitive to descriptions of abuse. Please read with care.

Post 1: “She Said What She Had to Say — To Survive”

By Tina Winterlik // Zipolita

This post is hard to write.
But not nearly as hard as what she lived through.

A woman—known to the public only as E.M.—was gang raped by five hockey players.
She was drunk, vulnerable, surrounded, outnumbered.
And when it was over, they filmed her. They asked her to say it was all “consensual.”
She said what they wanted to hear.

Because she was terrified.
Because she wanted to survive.
Because if she had said the truth — “You raped me” — the energy in that room might have turned violent.
She might not have made it out.

This is something so many survivors understand.
It’s not “consent” — it’s compliance for survival.
It’s what your brain and body do when there’s no safe way out.

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📹 They Filmed Her Saying It Was Okay. That Doesn't Make It Okay.

Let’s stop pretending this means anything.
Trauma experts will tell you — after shock, after violation, after pain — survivors will say whatever it takes to get away, to get out, to get home.

She didn’t sign a contract. She didn’t smile for a photo shoot.
She said what they asked, because they were still in control.
Because she was scared.
Because she had already been violated — and just wanted to survive.

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💔 And Still, the Court Didn’t Believe Her

At one point during the assault, she said:

“You know you guys are raping me, didn’t she?”

That sentence should’ve been enough to stop everything.
But it didn’t.

It should’ve been enough for a conviction.
But it wasn’t.

Because the Canadian justice system doesn’t protect women.
Especially not when powerful institutions are involved.

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🔥 So Now What? Where Do We Go From Here?

We face the truth:
There is no justice — only survival, and community protection.

So we protect our loved ones.
We protect ourselves.
And we tell the truth that the courts and Hockey Canada refused to.

These men are not heroes.
These men are not “good guys who made a mistake.”
These men are predators who were shielded by wealth, status, and silence.

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🛡️ And To Men: This. Is. Your. Fight.

If you think this is just a women’s issue, you’re not paying attention.

This could have been:

• Your daughter
• Your sister
• Your girlfriend
• Your child’s best friend

If you don’t stand up now — if you don’t speak out — you’re letting the sickness spread.
You’re leaving the next victim alone.
You’re siding with rapists through your silence.

Men must rise up and call this what it is: evil.
And say: "Not in my locker room. Not in my community. Not in my name."

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🙏 Final Words

To the survivor —
You did what you had to do.
We believe you.
You are brave beyond words.

To the rest of us —
This is just the beginning.
We will write more.
We will speak louder.
We will not let this be forgotten.