Episode 5: “The Great Council Escape” 🏃♂️💨
Welcome back to Vancouver Hall of Absurdities, the city where housing prices soar, shelters overflow, and the mayor’s press conferences sound more like stand-up comedy routines! 🎤😂
This week’s episode opens on a foggy morning 🌫️ at City Hall. A hush falls over the marble floors — not because of reverence, but because everyone’s sneaking out the back door! 🚪👀
Mayor Ken is spotted tiptoeing toward a luxury SUV 🚙💼, whispering into his phone:
“Tell them I’m at a ribbon-cutting… in another dimension.”
Meanwhile, the Council Crew scatters like marbles — some to the Gulf Islands 🏝️, others to “remote meetings” conveniently located in Hawaii. 🌺☀️
But back in the real Vancouver…
🔥 Fires still blaze in SROs
🚫 Shelters are full
💸 Police budgets balloon
🌳 Parks Board is on life support
The people gather outside City Hall, chanting:
“Where’d our leaders go?!”
“We want accountability, not invisibility!”
And just when things couldn’t get wilder, Lisa-style logic enters again:
“Maybe the real escape is realizing they never planned to stay.” 💭
Cue the Simpsons-style closing montage:
- City staff play hot potato with the budget 🥔💰
- Mr. Burns pops out of a tent with a “For Sale” sign 🏕️
- Bart spray-paints “We Told You So” across the empty condo towers 🏢💥
- Maggie plants a tree where the Parks Board once stood 🌱
The credits roll to a soft ukulele tune 🎶 as Vancouver’s skyline flickers between glitter and grit — reminding everyone that satire isn’t far from reality here.
⚠️ Disclaimer: This series is satire — a work of fiction and creative commentary. Any resemblance to real people or events… well, that’s just the universe’s way of being ironic. 😅
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