50 Ways to Dodge Your Duty

 

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🎵 "50 Ways to Dodge Your Duty"

(To the tune of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Simon & Garfunkel)
Parody lyrics by Tina Winterlik aka Zipolita

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[Verse 1]
The problem is all inside your head, they said to me
The answer’s not in welfare, it’s in "productivity"
But I say, folks are starving on the street you refuse to see
There must be fifty ways to dodge your duty

They said, it’s not our fault that rent is sky-high now
Just move out to the woods or hitchhike north somehow
We’re building condos, not concern, go ask the sacred cow
There must be fifty ways to dodge your duty

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🎶 [Chorus]

Just say, “Cut the slack, Jack”
“Pull your weight, Kate”
“It’s the free market, Mark”
“Not up to me”
Say, “Get a gig, Mig”
“Or move away, Rae”
Just make a plan, Stan
To blame poverty

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[Verse 2]
They hand out billions to the oil and tech elite
But when it comes to housing, they admit defeat
They tell the poor to budget better—while they eat
There must be fifty ways to dodge your duty

They say that if we raise the rate, we’ll all go broke
But we see CEOs in jets—they must think we’re a joke
And every time we protest, they call it “class war smoke”
There must be fifty ways to dodge your duty

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🎶 [Chorus]

Say, “That’s just life, Fife”
“Don't complain, Jane”
“Work harder, Carter”
“Or go to church”
Say, “The funds are tied, Clyde”
“Your needs are pride, Clyde”
Just build a wall, Paul
And leave us in the lurch

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[Bridge Verse]
You say there’s no solution, but you don’t want to act
You benefit from systems rigged by greed and stacked
But one day we’ll rise up—and that’s a fact
You’ll run out of your 50 ways to dodge your duty

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