As Truth and Reconciliation Day approaches, I find myself reflecting deeply on my heritage and the intricate layers that shape my identity. This day is about honoring Indigenous peoples and acknowledging the injustices they've faced, but for me, it also brings a mix of emotions as I try to reconcile my own ancestral story.
I come from a long line of diverse ancestors, each with their own history, struggles, and triumphs. My 4th great-grandmother was Kalapuya, an Indigenous people from the Willamette Valley in Oregon. She married an Iroquois man, and their child married a French Voyager. One of their descendants was born in Sooke, yet documents say her grandmother was from the Sooke Nation. I also have roots in the Songhees Nation, and another branch of my family traces back to Portuguese ancestors from the Azores, as well as Swedish and Bohemian descent.
With such a rich mix of backgrounds, you would think I might have a clear sense of identity, but in reality, it’s been a challenge. The world seems to demand that we fit neatly into boxes, especially when it comes to Indigenous identity. But when I’m asked to name a specific nation or claim a singular identity, I struggle. I don’t quite fit the criteria for any one group, and with the rise of discussions around "Pretendians" — people who falsely claim Indigenous identity — I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells, unsure of how to honor my ancestors without feeling like I need to prove something.
The concept of being Métis has also come up in my life, as many of my ancestors were a mix of European and Indigenous. Yet, even this identity is often met with questions and resistance. Some people say I can’t be Métis because I don’t fit the legal or political definitions. But does that mean I should ignore this part of my heritage? It’s a difficult and painful question to grapple with.
At the heart of all this is a simple truth: I want to honor my ancestors, but I feel caught in a space between worlds. The colonial systems that imposed strict categories of identity make it hard to embrace the fullness of who I am. On Truth and Reconciliation Day, I’m reminded that reconciliation is not just about addressing the wrongs done to Indigenous peoples but also about finding a way to reconcile my own mixed identity.
I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what some consider the "right" way is to honor my background. What I do know is that my ancestors lived, loved, and persevered, and their blood flows through me, even if the lines between them aren’t always clear or easily defined.
If you’ve ever felt unsure about where you fit in or how to embrace your full identity, know that you’re not alone. We’re all in this process of discovering who we are and how to stay true to our roots, even when the world tells us we need to be one thing or another.
For now, on this Truth and Reconciliation Day, I will remember my ancestors—Kalapuya, Iroquois, French, Songhees, Portuguese, Swedish, Bohemian—and I will reflect on the beauty and complexity of being a person of many cultures. I hope that in the process of reconciliation, we all find ways to honor the wholeness of who we are.
#EveryChildMatters
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