The Psychology of Obedience and Regret

The Psychology of Obedience and Regret

At 28, after working 11 years in farm labour, I finally went to college. I took psychology, and it changed my perspective in so many ways.

We studied disturbing experiments—how people could be convinced to do awful things just because an authority figure told them to. We examined history, from Nazi Germany to war crimes, and I kept asking myself:

Why?

Why do people follow orders, even when they know it's wrong? Why do soldiers commit atrocities? Why do everyday people become complicit?

And then I realized—it happens all the time.

So many of the terrible things we hear about—the injustices, the violence, the corruption—are often justified with:

"I was just following orders."

"It’s the rules."

"I didn’t have a choice."

But the truth is, there’s always a choice. It might be hard, it might cost something, but it exists.

I have regrets—big regrets—for things I’ve seen, things I’ve heard, and the times I didn’t act.

The Changing Face of Vancouver

Vancouver has changed drastically. According to recent estimates, the Metro Vancouver region's population has now surpassed 3 million people. The growth is staggering.

And with it, we face challenges no one wants to talk about.

Newcomers arrive without knowing Canadian values, without speaking the language, and—most importantly—without respect for First Nations people. Many bring their own racial prejudices, their own caste systems. And because these newcomers are from different countries, even they don’t always get along.

We have people coming from war zones, escaping poverty, carrying trauma we can’t even imagine.

And yet, there’s another side to it—one that really scares me.

We see newcomers buying up land, hiring only their own communities in restaurants, grocery stores, and businesses. And in doing so, they often discriminate against the very people who have lived here since time immemorial—the First Nations.

And beyond that, they discriminate against other Canadians. I’ve been told this isn’t technically racism, but discrimination.

Either way—it’s wrong.

The Violence No One Talks About

The incident I saw with the young girls in Prince George wasn’t isolated.

Not long ago, a 91-year-old grandmother was assaulted at No Frills.

These stories are happening more and more, but we’re told to stay quiet, to accept it, to pretend everything is fine.

But it’s not fine.

Things have changed, and not for the better. Vancouver isn’t the same city it was. There’s fear, tension, and unspoken divides growing wider by the day.

And if we don’t talk about it, if we don’t ask why—if we don’t question—then we’re just following orders too.