🌪️ Alberta’s Separatist Soap Opera: WEXIT and the Wild West of Climate Denial
The current vibes galloping out of Alberta feel like a telenovela plot where an angry cousin slams the barn door and declares:
“I’ll just start my own country… with blackjack and pipelines!” 🤦♀️🤠🛢️
There’s grievance, oil fumes, and a very loud minority shouting WEXIT! like it’s a new superhero movie.
Let’s break down the drama with spicy commentary and a side of prairie wind.
🔥 What’s Alberta Actually Mad About?
Short version: 💰 + power
Long version:
• 💸 “We send too much money to Ottawa!”
• 🗳️ “We don’t get enough say!”
• 🌍 “Climate policies are bullying us!”
• 🚫 “Why won’t the world love oil forever?”
It’s like they’re still trying to crown fossil fuels as Prom King, while the rest of the world slow dances with solar panels and EVs. 🚗⚡☀️
🌡️ Climate Change Denial With Cowboy Boots
Imagine standing on a melting glacier yelling:
“More pipelines! That will fix everything!” ❄️🔧😂
Yes, Alberta has brilliant innovators working on renewables…
…but the loudest voices cling to the past like:
🧲 a barn cat
🪵 gripping the last fence post
💨 in a category-5 chinook wind
Meanwhile:
• 🌾 Farmers depend on the weather
• 🔥 Wildfires keep turning summers into ash
• 💧 Drought is choking the prairies
• 🤖 Oil jobs are disappearing anyway
That’s not Ottawa’s fault.
That’s basic physics and global economics.
🪶 Stolen Land, Selective Outrage
It’s quite…something… to hear settler groups claim they’re:
• Oppressed by Confederation
• Victims of Ottawa
…while ignoring Indigenous Nations who never ceded ownership of most of that land. 🧿
You can’t yell:
“This land is ours!”
While standing on territory your government took without consent.
In contrast…
🌲 BC: Land of Unceded Sovereignty & Cascadia Dreams 💚💙
BC has a very different vibe:
• Pacific-forward
• Renewable-curious
• Indigenous sovereignty in the spotlight
• A place where “Cascadia” sounds like a science-fiction utopia involving moss and high-speed trains 🏔️🚄✨
Two provinces
One burning planet
Opposite directions…
🤡 Who’s Stirring This Oil-Fueled Pot?
Two words: Pierre Poilievre 😐👇
🍫 Politically: he’s selling resentment chocolate bars
⚡ Branding: energy-drink-level outrage
🔥 Strategy:
Divide the nation
Blame Ottawa
Never mention billionaire oil execs
Drama sells. And he knows his audience.
📊 How Big Is This Movement?
Alberta’s Population: 4.7 million
Active separatist supporters: maybe 10k–15k
That’s:
🛎️ A car alarm in the night
😴 Annoying as heck
🌪️ But not an actual revolution
✅ Pros vs ❌ Cons of Alberta Breaking Up With Canada
Pros (in fantasy land):
• Keep more money 💰
• Deregulate like it’s 1950 🏭
• Political cosplay: Cowboy Nation 🤠
Cons (in reality):
• 🚫 No coastline = no pipeline dreams
• Indigenous Nations could refuse to join
• Economic instability on turbo
• Lose healthcare, currency, trade benefits
• Risk becoming North Montana 🇺🇸
The math is uglier than a mud-soaked Stampede boot.
🧠 Final Reality Check
Yes, coping with economic change is hard.
Yes, people are scared for their livelihoods.
But here’s the truth in neon letters:
You cannot surf a pipeline into the future.
🌊🛢️🚫
Canada is transforming.
The world is transforming.
Alberta must choose:
Option A: Innovate, diversify, thrive 🌱
Option B: Throw a tantrum online 🙃🔥
Right now, a few thousand are choosing the tantrum…
…and the rest of us are popping popcorn 🍿 and whispering:
“This is not the plot twist we ordered.” 🎬😬
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