Episode 4: “Welfare for the Wealthy” 💸

Episode 4: “Welfare for the Wealthy” 💸

Welcome back to Vancouver Hall of Absurdities, where the rich stay rich, the poor get pink slips, and the city calls it “fiscal responsibility.” 💼🙄

In this episode, we imagine a wild “what if?” scenario:
👉 What if Vancouver’s top 10 City Hall earners had to live on welfare-level wages — about $2,000 a month — just like the people they make policy for?

Cue Springfield madness:

• Mr. Burns-style execs realize they can’t afford oat-milk lattes or designer pens anymore ☕✒️
• Task Force Barrage suddenly “pauses operations” — no budget for over-policing 🚫👮‍♂️
• The Parks Board blossoms again, because no one can afford to cut it 🌳💚
• Homer City Worker finally gets his job back, and the swings start swinging again! 🙌

Lisa-style logic kicks in:

“If the top brass took welfare-level pay, hundreds of jobs could be saved, shelters could stay open, and maybe people wouldn’t have to sleep on the streets of one of the world’s richest cities.” 💭

But in this satire, the wealthy elites panic! 😱
Suddenly they’re in line at the food bank, muttering:

“Wait, this isn’t an artisanal grocery store?”

Meanwhile, Bart-style graffiti lights up City Hall:
“Welfare for the Wealthy!” 🧱💥
“Fiscal Fairness Now!” 💵✊

The ultimate irony?
Once the elites live like everyone else, they finally understand how broken the system is — but then wake up, spill their lattes, and realize it was all a dream. ☕💭

Stay tuned for the grand finale: Episode 5: “The Great Council Escape” 🚪, where the city’s leaders vanish faster than a budget surplus while Vancouver burns, freezes, and wonders what “safe city” they were talking about.

⚠️ Disclaimer:

This post is purely satirical 🃏. Any resemblance to real people, events, or government policies is intended for humor and social commentary. We do not endorse or encourage harm to anyone, and this is meant to highlight absurdities in a humorous way.