"She's an old soul!"

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Blog post by Tina Winterlik © 2011
http://tinawinterlik.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/#!/zipolita @zipolita
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Ten years ago today I was in Bucerias, Mexico. A friend and I had gone there. We had got a great deal on a 2 week flight and we were staying at the Suites Costa Dorada.  We were sitting down to breakfast at Karen's and had just ordered french toast when the waiter told us this bizarre news.

"What?"  That can't be right! They must be mixed up. ??? Can't be as bad as what they are saying. We didn't have access to a television and so we sat there numbly and ate our breakfast and tried to ascertain if what the waiter said was true.

After breakfast we walked down the street and stopped at Mark's Bar and Grill. There were a lot of people and we went to see what was going on. There was a television there, and we stared in disbelief as we heard reports of the tragedy unfolding.

Things just got weirder after that. We heard reports that all the planes were grounded and we wouldn't be able to fly home and who knows what would happen. We didn't even comprehend the true horror and size of this event.

I had been going to Mexico to live...forever or a long time. I had given away many things and well I was going there to return to the man who would become my daughter's father.

The friend I came down with had to figure out how he was getting home...we were all numbed out and trying to figure out what was going to happen and plan our lives.


The end of the 2 weeks arrived. My friend left, the airline had some kind of party for the inconvenience, which seems so truly bizzare and I made my way to Zipolite, 27 hours on buses.

I had planned to sell jewelry and art and live with my new love, but everything was screwed up. The town was a ghost town. There were no tourists. No tourists, no money.  It was a very difficult situation for everyone.  People there were nervous. When I had got on the bus they had used a metal detector and they made me put my pack under the bus....had never experienced anything like that, EVERYONE  was scared and nervous.

I only had a small amount of savings when I went down and they quickly were being eaten up and I didn't know what to do. The relationship was all messed up. We were both afraid, no money and who knows what would happen. Still we clung to each other and "made love like it was the end of the world. "

At the end of just one month I felt I should leave, I had written a friend in Bucerias and he said we could start a web design biz, he would help with the computer as my laptop was to old. So off I went on the bus. To be honest, I was 39, and on the trip down I was hoping I would get pregnant. We had actually tried in April before I had left the last time (after the fire ) but nothing happened. I hadn't told a soul, I knew  many people wouldn't be supportive. In my heart I wanted a child so bad and had for many years.

I believe a miracle happened during this time and this is the miracle I believe happened. I believe that there was such a huge loss of life, that there were all these souls floating around and that because I was praying so hard for a child, God and the soul decided to grant my wish. This is a feeling I have had ever since I found out I was pregnant.

Many people say when they meet my child say "She's an old soul!" And this I believe is so true. They are more right on then they will ever know.

There are many "old souls" out there, many children were born after this day. Many beautiful souls that came back to share their lives with us again.

So for me this is a very sad and tragic day, but it is also a happy and joyous time as I have been given one of God's greatest gifts.

The gift of a child...and not just child...but an "old soul."