I Asked About the Lowercase — And Learned Something About barbara findlay
After writing my post about barbara findlay, I realized there was something I didn't understand.
I had noticed that her name was written barbara findlay, in lowercase.
I didn't know barbara personally. I was learning about her through her work, her words, and what was being written about her after her death. So rather than assume I knew why she used lowercase letters, I asked.
And I am glad I did.
barbara herself explained the story on her website.
She had always signed her name without capital letters. When she was completing her Master of Laws degree in 1990, she had letterhead made with her name in lowercase. She liked it, so she continued using it when she returned to private practice.
And then something remarkable happened.
People reacted.
Lawyers called her because their firms had actually discussed and voted on why she had chosen to spell her own name that way.
A court rejected an order because her name was not considered properly spelled.
A local queer newspaper refused for years to use the lowercase version.
Think about that.
All over a capital letter.
barbara recognized that her experience demonstrated something much larger: how people react when someone moves even slightly away from an accepted norm, even when that choice has no impact on anyone else.
And she kept doing it.
She eventually used the story in her unlearning oppression workshops.
Then I Learned Something Else
Around the same time, I had been asking about pflag Canada, which also uses lowercase letters.
I wondered whether there was a connection.
There isn't.
I learned that pflag Canada deliberately moved away from the traditional acronym PFLAG, which originally stood for "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays." The organization felt that name no longer represented the people and families it supports today, including the many transgender people and loved ones it works with.
The lowercase styling was part of showing that pflag was no longer being treated as an acronym.
Two completely different stories.
Two lowercase names.
And yet both made me think about the power of language.
What Are We So Afraid Of?
barbara's lowercase name seems like such a small thing.
But people made it into a big thing.
Why?
Perhaps because humans are remarkably attached to rules we have stopped questioning.
We decide there is a "proper" way to write a name.
A "proper" way to behave.
A "proper" way to identify.
A "proper" way to live.
And when someone steps outside that invisible line, we can become uncomfortable.
barbara understood that.
And instead of changing herself to make everyone else comfortable, she turned the experience into a teaching tool.
That feels especially meaningful to me after writing my first post about her.
I wrote about the questions barbara's life and death raise around disability, aging, dignity, autonomy and the systems we build around vulnerable people.
But there is another lesson here.
We have to be careful about the assumptions we make about people.
I initially wondered about those lowercase letters.
Then I asked.
barbara had already answered the question herself.
And her answer was much more interesting than anything I could have imagined.
Maybe that is another part of creating a better world:
Ask before assuming.
Listen before judging.
And when someone tells us who they are, perhaps we should believe them.
barbara findlay spent her life challenging people to think differently.
Apparently, she even managed to turn two little lowercase words into a lesson.
Rest in Peace and Power, barbara.
And thank you for leaving us another question to think about:
How many of the "rules" we enforce are actually necessary — and how many simply exist because we have never stopped to question them?
🧡
#barbarafindlay #pflagcanada #LGBTQ2S #UnlearningOppression #HumanRights #SocialJustice #Equality #Identity #ChallengeAssumptions #QueerHistory
