Wednesday, August 12, 2026

If You're the Kid Whose Family Can't Afford to Live

A letter to the smart kid who already knows something is wrong

Maybe you're 10.

Maybe you're 12.

Maybe you're older.

You're smart. Really smart.

You've probably figured out things that adults don't think you understand.

You know when Mum opens the fridge and there isn't much inside.

You know when she says, "We can't afford that," even when it's something you really need.

You notice when the rent is due.

You notice when Mum is worried.

You notice when there are no new shoes, no new clothes, no money for the things other kids seem to get without thinking about it.

Maybe your dad died.

Maybe he died from a fentanyl overdose.

Maybe your family disappeared when things got difficult, and now it's just you and Mum trying to figure everything out.

And maybe you have started thinking:

Is this our fault?

It isn't.

Not yours.

And not necessarily your mother's either.

You are living inside a problem that is much bigger than your family.

First, I want you to understand something about the rent

You may hear adults talking about Canada having apartments that cost only a few hundred dollars a month.

You might hear someone say:

"CMHC says the average rent is $471!"

You might quite reasonably wonder:

"Then why can't my family find one?"

That's a really good question.

The answer is that the $471 number is not the normal price of an apartment in Vancouver.

CMHC was talking about a special group of social and affordable housing units — housing that is subsidized or supported by governments and other public organizations.

There are nearly 591,000 of these units in the survey, but they represent only about 4% of Canada's housing stock.

And 85% of those units use something called rent-geared-to-income.

That means the rent is connected to how much money the household has.

So a family with very little money may pay much less than someone renting the same kind of home on the private market.

That's what makes it affordable.

It doesn't mean Vancouver is full of $471 apartments.

So why is Mum paying so much?

Because your family may be stuck looking at the private rental market.

In Vancouver, a small apartment can cost around $2,000 a month or more.

That's an enormous amount of money.

Now imagine your family doesn't have $2,000 left after paying for food, transportation, clothing, school things and everything else.

Imagine you have almost no money left at all.

You can't fix that by becoming better at budgeting.

You can't coupon your way out of it.

And you certainly can't work your way out of it when you're a child.

The numbers simply don't work.

That is why governments have social housing and income supports.

They are supposed to help families whose incomes are too low to survive the private market.

And here's something very important:

You are allowed to tell an adult that your family needs help.

You don't have to wait until you are homeless.

You don't have to wait until there is no food.

You don't have to wait until Mum is crying.

You don't have to prove that your family is "poor enough."

If you are worried about having a home, food, clothing or a safe place to live, tell someone.

Start at school

If you are a child reading this, your school may be one of the safest places to start.

Find an adult you trust.

It could be:

your teacher;
the school counsellor;
a principal or vice-principal;
a school social worker;
a youth worker;
a special education/support staff member;
the school nurse;
another teacher you trust.

You don't have to know what program your family needs.

That's the adult's job.

You can simply say:

"My family is having trouble paying for food and housing. I'm worried we're going to lose our home. Can you help us find someone who can help my mom?"

That's enough.

If talking is difficult, write it down.

Put it on a piece of paper and hand it to the teacher.

You can even say:

"I don't know what to do, but things at home are really hard and I need help."

That is enough too.

Ask specifically about food

You don't have to be embarrassed about needing food.

Food is not a reward for having enough money.

Children need food in order to grow, learn, concentrate and stay healthy.

B.C.'s Feeding Futures program supports school food programs, and almost 90% of B.C. schools now have some form of accessible school food program. In 2024, more than 162,000 students were accessing breakfast, lunch and/or snack programs.

So ask.

You can say:

"Is there a breakfast or lunch program at school?"

Or:

"Can you help my family find a food program?"

You don't have to tell the whole class.

You can tell one adult privately.

Ask for help with housing too

This part is especially important.

Don't just tell the school:

"We're poor."

Tell them exactly what is happening.

For example:

"My mom is receiving assistance and we can't afford our rent."

"We're worried we won't be able to stay in our apartment."

"We don't have enough money for food after paying rent."

"My mom doesn't have family who can help us."

The clearer you are, the easier it is for the adult to understand that this isn't simply a family that needs a little budgeting advice.

This is a housing and food-security problem.

Ask the school to help your mother connect with the appropriate housing and social-service workers.

And ask for help applying for every benefit and housing program your family may qualify for.

You don't have to figure out the forms yourself.

If Mum is overwhelmed, you can help — but you are still the child

This is really important.

A smart child can become the person who knows all the bills, watches the younger children, worries about rent and tries to make Mum feel better.

You may even become very good at pretending you're okay.

But you are not supposed to become the parent.

You can help Mum find information.

You can sit beside her while she makes a phone call.

You can tell a teacher what's happening.

You can help make a list.

But adults and governments have responsibilities too.

You deserve to be a kid.

What if Dad died from fentanyl?

If that happened to your family, you may have feelings that don't seem to make sense.

What if Mum's family won't help?

Families sometimes fail people.

It is painful, but it happens.

Your mother may feel ashamed or rejected.

You may feel angry that other relatives aren't helping.

But your family doesn't have to solve this entirely through relatives.

There are systems outside the family.

Schools.

Housing providers.

Food programs.

Social workers.

Community organizations.

Government benefits.

Counsellors.

People whose actual job is to help families who are struggling.

The fact that your relatives won't help does not mean there is nowhere else to go.

Here's the plan

If I could sit beside you, this is what I'd tell you to do.

1. Tell one safe adult at school.

Don't wait.

Say:

"My family needs help with food and housing."

2. Ask for the school counsellor or another support person.

Tell them the truth.

You don't need to make the story sound worse.

You don't need to make it sound better.

Just tell the truth.

3. Ask specifically about food.

Ask about breakfast, lunch, snacks and other food programs.

4. Ask specifically about housing.

Tell them you're worried about losing your home or that your rent is taking too much of your family's money.

Ask them to help your mother connect with housing and social-service resources.

5. Ask about financial benefits.

Your mother may be eligible for supports she isn't receiving.

An adult who understands the system can help her check.

6. If Mum has trouble making the calls, ask whether someone can help her.

Sometimes the hardest part isn't knowing that help exists.

It's navigating all the paperwork.

7. Keep telling adults if the situation gets worse.

If there is no food, you might be embarrassed to say so.

Say it anyway.

If you're going to lose your home, say it.

If you're sleeping somewhere unsafe, say it.

If you're frightened, say it.

If you're worried about your mother's safety, say it.

You don't have to protect adults from the truth.

And if the first adult doesn't help?

Try another one.

This is important.

Sometimes a child finally finds the courage to speak and the adult doesn't understand how serious things are.

That doesn't mean you were wrong to ask.

Tell another teacher.

Tell the counsellor.

Tell the principal.

Tell another trusted adult.

Keep going until somebody listens.

You are not being difficult.

You are asking for help.

What should Canada be doing?

Now let's step outside the child's bedroom and look at the adults.

Because this child should never have to become an expert in the housing system.

We need a system where a family can say:

"We cannot afford our home and we don't have enough money for food."

And instead of being handed a pile of forms and told to figure it out, that family gets a person who helps them navigate the entire system.

We need:

More deeply affordable housing

Not simply housing that is cheaper than luxury housing.

Housing that a person living on a very low income can actually afford.

Faster access to subsidized housing

A vacant social-housing unit shouldn't sit empty while families wait indefinitely for housing.

Stronger income supports

If a family's income is too low to pay for basic necessities, the support system has to recognize the actual cost of living.

Food security

No child should have to wonder whether there will be dinner.

School food programs are important, but families need enough income to feed themselves at home too.

Schools as gateways to support

Schools already know which children are showing up hungry, exhausted, worried or without basic necessities.

They should be funded and equipped to connect families with housing, food, counselling and financial support.

B.C. is already investing in school food and student supports; the province says almost 90% of schools now have school food programs and Budget 2026 includes additional funding for teachers, counsellors and student services.

But the goal should be bigger:

No child should have to become homeless before the system decides they qualify for help.

And maybe the smartest thing we can teach children is this:

You are not poor because you failed.

Your mother is not a bad mother because she needs assistance.

Needing help is not a character flaw.

Your father's addiction was not your fault.

Your family's circumstances are not your identity.

You are still you.

You are still intelligent.

You are still capable.

You still have a future.

And you are allowed to ask for help before everything falls apart.

If you are that child right now

Look at the adult closest to you.

A teacher.

A counsellor.

A coach.

A school support worker.

Someone you trust.

And say just four words:

"My family needs help."

You don't need to know the answer.

You only need to start the conversation.

Then let the adults do their job.

Because a 10-year-old should be thinking about friends, school, dinosaurs, music, art, soccer, books, video games, trees, oceans, dreams and what they might become.

Not whether Mum can pay the rent.

Not whether there will be dinner.

Not whether the family will have a home tomorrow.

That is not a child's job.

It is ours.