Sunday, May 8, 2011

We Really Miss You Moma

Blog post by Tina Winterlik © 2011 

Mother's Day is tough.
It's been tough since I lost my mom in 2007, and I can finally talk about it now with out getting all teary and choking up. That just sort of happened in the last few months. Not sure what it is, peace, calm, numbness.

It's Angel that cries. They say 8 is really hard because that's when children realize we are mortal. She misses her Grama so much lately and cries often. Tonight I spent along time consoling her.

Angel helping Grama do her buttons

She says how much she misses her soft, soft skin. She wants to give a letter to the mailman, get him to take it to the wizards and get them to turn back time. She wants to give Grama a big Smooch and make little wool doll for her.

My mom - by Tina Winterlik © 2011

I feel like a big meany. I'm not overwhelmed with tears and grief, I'm dried up, it took 4 years, but I don't feel the deep empty sadness that caused the tears to flow whenever I thought her.

This last move was tough and I shed a lot of tears then, I have alot of my mom's things and when I unpacked them from storage they brought out tons of memories and emotions.  Maybe that's why I feel peaceful, I feel her all around me.

I feel sad for Angel. Losing her Grama so young, I only had my Grama til I was 18 but still I had her for so much longer than Angel. We have lovely surrogate grandmas that have stepped up to the plate and comforted and played Grandma for Angel, but still it's not the same and they aren't around all the time so it's hard for my little cherub, and that fact she has no grandparents sucks.

 Part of me starts to say, "Well if you hadn't had her at 40" but you can what if things to death. It's just life.

This is life.

I guess my point in all this is don't take your family for granted, EVER

Various Family Photo- Copyrighted

Document Life. Take tons of photos & video. Video is beautiful, it captures sound. Record your parents and children's stories.

I miss my mom's voice, I didn't have a video camera til later, and I don't even have a phone message of my mom's voice. I wish I could hear her.  I can if I concentrate, or a memory triggers it, but I'd love to hear her voice again.

I'm the one with the Teddy bear

I don't mean to be a bummer on Mother's Day!

I just want you to Really Appreciate the People you Love and That Love You.

Go out and Hug everyone & "Tell Them You Love Them." 

Don't hold back, you've got nothing to lose.

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